I Fell in Love With a Married Man, What to Do?
Love, as we know, knows no boundaries. And if feelings rush in, even such a serious obstacle as having a family and a stamp in the passport means nothing. If a woman fell in love with a married man, it can be described as a very difficult situation. It provokes dual attitudes in both the woman herself and those around her. On the one hand, such behavior seems to be reprehensible and contrary to the sanctity of the family institution. On the other hand, the heart does not command, and the role of the mistress of the wife also worthy to exist. How to sort out this complex tangle of conflicting emotions, fears and hopes?
Love with a married man as a way to boost self-esteem
No matter how sublime love may be, it usually has a rational basis underneath it. If a free woman falls in love with a married man This action definitely had some motive behind it.
Very often women assert themselves at the expense of the situation. They are flattered that the ringed man prefers them to the one they have sworn to love forever. Often mistresses with this attitude take a clear negative stance toward their wives. They speak unflatteringly of her marital qualities, reproach her for her stupidity and shortsightedness, consider her appearance unattractive. It is good if women do not express such thoughts directly to the man. But some not only constantly set up a lover against his wife, but also gather the courage to say all to her face. Not surprisingly, because for such self-assertive mistresses the main goal is to beat off the man and marry him in order to make this moment a confirmation of their triumph.
Put yourself in your wife’s shoes
If your motivation is similar to the one described above, it is not a good symptom. Chances are you have serious problems with self-acceptance and self-esteem. Of course, there are monster wives who don’t deserve the love of such a beautiful man, which is no doubt your chosen one. But think about it: if the wife was really so bad, would the man put up with her, not hurrying to take you to the registry office? Most likely, your opinion of the deceived spouse is biased. There may be less love in your relationship than you think. Building a love story on your own complexes is a path that will ultimately lead to collapse.
Other reasons to love a married man
If in your behavior and attitude toward your lover you are not guided by a sense of competition with another woman, still try to find the true purpose of your relationship. Maybe you yourself are not in the mood for a serious union, and the role of lover suits you completely. Or maybe you are getting some kind of value from your lover — not necessarily material, spiritual values also count. In any case, the fact that the man loves you, but still lives with another woman can form in you a sense of inferiority and second-rate. And even if everything on the surface of the relationship is smooth and unclouded, in your subconscious there may be a strong idea that you are in some way worse than his wife, and unworthy to take her place.
Very often women who are in love with married men become prisoners of a certain vicious circle. In most cases, it is initiated by men who benefit from such a “merry-go-round”. You ask him to finally decide the fate of your relationship. He swears that he will soon file for divorce. Then he finds a thousand reasons to postpone the divorce for an unknown period of time. This forces you to insist that the man again make the difficult choice in the ultimatum form of “me or her.” The man swears again that he has chosen you, but the divorce never appears on the horizon.
Unfortunately, many men are, in fact, real opportunists. If your partner is one of those clever manipulators who promises to divorce his lawful spouse every week, there’s a good chance that his intentions toward you are not serious. Alas, he’s just settling in well, living his life between two women, each of whom he loves in his own way. To participate in such a love triangle any further is not to respect yourself.
When a married man has fallen in love with a married woman, the situation can become either simpler or more complicated. It becomes simpler if both participants in an affair “outside the law” feel no need to sever their relationship with their spouses, and simply enjoy each other’s company. They can be condemned for cheating on their wives and husbands, but whatever the case, it is their own business. If the love square turns out to have very sharp angles, the spouses know or guess something, such a complicated knot of relationships can form. Love is closely intertwined with hatred, lies with deceit, and it is difficult even to imagine the raging heat of passion fraught with stress and breakdowns for all involved.
Judge for yourself: a relationship between two people is a whole unpredictable universe developing according to its own laws. What can you expect from a relationship where as many as four people are involved at the same time?
What can be done?
The only universal advice for a situation where a married man has fallen in love with a married woman is to try to give each other a break. A pause in a relationship is an effective way to test their strength. The same technique works when an unmarried woman has fallen in love with a married man.. If the pause is too long, the non-serious “married man” may disappear from your sight for good. In this case, do not grieve and get upset: it means it was not love, but a mere infatuation. It is better to apply for a profile on the dating site Tabor.ru to find a new partner and have a nice relationship with him or her without unnecessary problems and headaches.